Bummed out.

I haven't felt much like posting lately. I've been on this emotional roller coaster that seems to be never ending. This month of fertility treatment didn't work. I was initally hopeful after my ultrasound- I had 4 good sized follicles- but then my body felt different than normal and I wasn't sure what was going on. My period was late which it shouldn't be because one of the medications I have to take will cause me to have my period almost exactly 14 days after it's given... that is, of course, if I didn't get pregnant. So then I let myself think that maybe I was pregnant despite having negative home pregnancy tests. Finally I gave in and called my RE. They speculate that I have now developed ovarian cysts and some other stuff as a result of being on the clomid for so many months! Aghhhh! So, we corrected one problem that was keeping us from having a baby just to create another, or two. Tomorrow I go in for another ultrasound to check on the cyst thing. Make sure they are not too big. If they are then we will have to wait this month out. If not, we are going to tweak the treatment plan a little. I was really bummed on Thursday but I'm ok now. I try and remember that this is in God's hands. Max was a gift from Him and if He is willing we will be blessed with another one. I believe that this is something God wants me to go through and I try to find the good in it. Right now the good is pulling at my arm begging me to let him watch Thomas the Train.... AGAIN. I get to spend tons of quality time with my little boy and we have FUN!