48.

In 48 hours I will be in a car on my way to Detroit to catch a plane that will eventually bring me to Haiti.  If you could feel the pit in my stomach and the heaviness in my chest you would know how nervous I am feeling.  Deep down I'm scared that I won't come back.  It's all about the "what ifs."  I've never been such a nervous nelly but I've never had a family to think about either.  I know there are people out there that don't think I should be going.  Sometimes I wonder that myself.  The past few days I can't help but hug my kids more and hold them just a bit longer.  I don't know what's in store for this trip.  But I do know that life is precious and unpredictable and I can't live my life in fear of the unknown.   I'm putting my trust and faith in God.  I'm going to embrace this opportunity and pray for the safety and protection of His arms.  I'm praying to be the hands and feet of Jesus.  I'm asking for Jesus to guide my hands, my heart, my thoughts, my actions and allow me to be a blessing.  

Father in Heaven-

I come to you tonight with a heavy heart.  I am scared.  I'm nervous.   I ask for your cover of protection; for safe travels this coming week.  I'm embarking on a journey and I'm scared.   I want to do Your work but I'm feeling selfish.  I don't want to leave my family.  Please watch over them this week.  I pray for a week of "normalcy"for them.  Max is scared about me going, afraid that the earthquake will "come back."  Please calm his fears.  My kids are so little, please protect them.  Never let them doubt how much I love them. Thank you, God, for a husband that is willing to stay home and be Mr. Mom while I take this trip.  Please let this week be one that is smooth and easy for them.  Thank you for all the people in our life so ready to help us.  Please let this experience be one that makes us closer, Lord.  Closer to You and as a Family.  Please, Lord, grant me a sense of peace.  Let me be a blessing.

Zephaniah 3:17
The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great
delight in you, he will quiet you with his love,  he will rejoice over you
with singing."