Fumes.

Fumes.  That's what I'm running on these days.  And it's not from the fiber bars I've been eating... although they might be contributing in another way.

This past week has been a whirlwind.  It all started last Tuesday when my sister called me from my Dad's house at 11:30pm.  Apparently he had fallen and couldn't get up.  Yes, just like the commericial.  I went straight to the hospital and knew the minute I saw him that he had had a stroke.  His face was droopy; his speech slurred.  The initial CT scan did not show the stroke but it was found with an MRI the following morning.  Since then he has essentially declined.  He has little movement on the left side and is more confused.  Yesterday he moved to a local nursing home for some intensive rehabilitation.   It's a lot of work having a parent in the hospital... especially when it sounds like it my be for a couple of months.  There is so  much to take care of... his house, pets, bills, medical stuff, etc.  On top of all this I had to work all weekend.  The timing couldn't be worse.  It so happened it was the first weekend of my new full time position.  Saturday night I worked until 1:30 am and had to be back at work at 11am.  I was so tired by the end of my shift.  I'm so thankful that my sister is close by and did most of the work this weekend.

On top of all this I committed to go to Haiti.  Bad timing if I do say so myself.  I needed to decided rather quickly and figured that my dad would be in the nursing home and well cared for so I decided to go for it.  What I didn't think about was all the stuff that would be required to get ready for Haiti.  Vaccinations.  Updating my passport.  And getting everything ready and organized for Rob to make the 10 days I'm gone as easy as possible.

I imagine the next 3 weeks will be just as crazy as this past week.  Between my dad, work and Haiti preparations I don't know where I'll find time for anything else.  I sure hope this isn't the new normal.  I don't like being this busy.  Sarah is 4 months old already... when did that happen?  Lately I felt like I've had no time with the kids.  I hate that feeling.

Today I had to have blood drawn early, visited my dad in the morning, took my sister to the airport, and spent a solid 3 hours getting stuff done for Haiti.  The evening consisted of picking up the disaster that is my house after I work all weekend, bathing kids,  and washing/folding laundry...lots of laundry.

Tomorrow Leah has an appointment to have her ear rechecked after her recent ear infection.  I have to get a copy of my marriage license to send with my passport that needs to be updated and will cost me at least an arm and maybe a leg because everything needs to be expedited.  (How's that for a run-on sentence?)  Hopefully I can get my immunizations but the Health Department is making me attend a "travel clinic" that will basically tell me not to drink the water in Haiti before they will vaccinate me.  Just another hoop to jump through.

The kids are doing quite well considering I feel like I've totally neglected them this past week.  Max is hesitant about me going to Haiti.  He is worried the "earthquake will come back and kill you."  Leah is battling cold like symptoms.  She had a nasty ear infection.  She was back to her normal self for about a week and then the snot returned and she isn't eating or sleeping well.  Sarah, on the other hand, is eating and sleeping great.  I am slowly weaning.  Partially because of Haiti but truly I think it was going to happen sooner than later.  I am kind of sad.  She is my baby and I will never be able to nurse a baby again.  I just can't believe how fast everything is happening.  I need to slow down so my life will slow down.

I've gone back and forth about my decision to go to Haiti, debating whether or not I made the right choice.  I was never sure what the right decision is or was.   My hesitation is in leaving my kids.  I hope that I'm not being selfish in going.  Please pray for a safe trip for me and an easy week for Rob and the kids.

I'm all out of fumes....need to refuel for what promises to be just as busy of a day tomorrow.  Good night.

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